As we’ve pointed out before, science has been forced to conduct some pretty depraved experiments in the name of furthering the march of knowledge. Human sexuality is a complicated thing, and in the name of research sometimes you just have to roll up your sleeves and get down and dirty. As in the following ridiculously awkward studies:
5. Testing Whether or Not Women Are Into Bangin’ MonkeysSome of the most famous research ever conducted on human sexuality was that of Alfred Kinsey,
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The study targeted a range of human sexual configurations straight men, gay men, straight women,
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Because scientists are just the academically qualified version of trolls, the researchers had an ace up their sleeve along with the regular human porn that the participants had expected, they included footage of bonobo apes fully going at it. In addition,
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As you could imagine,
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Ronald van der Beek/iStock/Getty Images
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So science has finally answered the age old question of whether women are more turned on by primate intercourse than men are,
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4. Making Sex Toys Bone Each Other (Complete With Fake Semen)Something that has puzzled and delighted humans since we parted ways with the apes on the evolutionary tree is why we have much bigger schlongs than our primate cousins,
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One theory is that the size and shape of the penis makes it act like a kind of scoop to displace semen that has been left over from your lover’s most recent previous conquests,
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How do you test such a hypothesis? One way would be to actually get down and dirty with your significant other and then ask to conduct some tests afterward in the interest of science, but because that’s too straightforward,
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The scientists spent some not at all awkward time at a purveyor of sexy merchandise to obtain three dildos (one large, one small,
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From there, the only thing to do was to make the fake genitalia fuck each other vigorously. Then tests were done to determine how much of the corn starch man batter had been scooped out after each simulated rogering.
The result was that the fake dicks did indeed scoop 90 percent of the fake splooge out of the fake vagina,
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